Matrimonial Bliss

By on August 1, 2013

By Dr. Kat Smith –

Marriage is a sacred union to which most find after the wedding day is everything other than bliss filled. However, when life takes over after the honeymoon, we simply shift gears and glide into a relationship that provides all the love, care and sex that allows happiness to override any challenges that may arise.

How do we accomplish this shift depends on how we understand intimacy. Intimacy is not necessarily sex, which is where the disconnect occurs. Intimacy encompasses all the wonderful expressions of love. Sex as a physical expression is reinforced by how we interact during the remaining hours with our partners. Therefore, enhancing intimacy enriches your sexual experiences.

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If we revisit young love we recognize how closeness, affection and sexiness are key in relationships. Attraction is physical and filled with desire, which by the way, is very healthy and normal. We are designed by our maker as sexual beings. Sex is not only for procreation. It is for sharing with our mates. Indulging intimately fuels the heart and penetrates the soul.

If you’re still breathing, desire is lurking. The problem occurs when you dilute the focus and become distracted. Recharging the intimacy in marriage is fun and filled with pleasure. It revives our seductive nature and allows the energy of laughter and joy to replace the stagnant lethargic longing to live again.

When intimacy becomes stale in your relationship, it may not be too late to rekindle the closeness that you once shared. It only takes a resurgence of desire. Here are a few tips to fuel the passion and ignite the intimacy in your marriage.

  1. Devote time to your intimate moments. Set a weekly or monthly date with your better half. Invest in a baby sitter and don’t let anything, if possible, come in between your relationship nurturing time. Leave sweet notes in place for them to find when they least expect to. Intimatificates TM are a book of 28 love coupons of sensual treats for them to redeem.
  2. Take time to cuddle and touch each other. The human touch is magical. I suggest that you never pass by your spouse without brushing against them sweetly or giving a gentle caress or right out grope. In the right company of course.
  3. Kiss and kiss often. Not a quick and absent peck on the lips. Look into each other’s eyes and see into the soul as you taste their sweet kisses. Feel the softness of their lips and linger as you allow your whole body to indulge in a moment of pleasure.
  4. Enjoy play time. Try out a few romantic games to help set the mood for a quiet relaxing evening, minus the kiddos, parents, pets or friends.
  5. Make sex a priority. Many marriages fail due to lack of sex or affection. It has been proven that there are many health benefits of having a healthy sex life. Get some love exercise by burning off calories and stress with some fun bedroom cardio. Come up with some new moves, like mattress squats or pelvic lunges. Get the heart pumping and the love flowing.

Nurturing your intimate marriage is the way to a lasting one. With all the things in life that has the capacity to knock us out of sync with our spouses, it is the foundation that we lay that keeps the marriage on solid ground. The goal is to place your mate in the number one (or two if self is first) spot in your heart. This takes nothing away from the love you have for your kids, self or your faith. According to the Bible, in marriage we are to forsake all others, and cling to one another. So a little lust for your spouse is like adding a little spice to your love. Maybe if Adam would have spent more time with Eve, the serpent would not have had a chance to sway her. I’m just saying.


America’s Intimacy Expert, Dr. Kat Smith Dhs, is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, an author and speaker. She is located in Dallas, TX and offers private consultations for both couples and individuals. For more information visit

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Matrimonial Bliss