Climbing Out of the Box – Excerpt

Dixie Diamanti Climbing Out of the Box book cover

By Dixie Diamanti –

Subtitle: My Journey Out of Sexual and Spiritual Abuse Into Freedom and Healing

Death of My Childhood

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I remember the early toddler days of being a happy little girl with fat rosy cheeks who adored her Daddy. He delighted in me and we swam together and played together and I was always on his lap. He would tell me that I had beautiful blue eyes and they would twinkle just for him. He was my hero. Daddy worked in the oil fields and, according to my Mother, was a real “John Wayne” type. I had his blue eyes, and when I looked at him, it was with adoration and trust. That trust would very soon turn to fear and confusion, as I grew older.

One day when I was seven, my relationship with my Dad changed forever. That was when he began a five-year nightmare of sexually molesting me. It began when my baby sister was born. He would take me places and find wooded areas for him to secretly do things to me that threw me into total confusion. I became his mistress. I don’t think my Mom knew, but I do know the signs were there that could have told her something was wrong. Mom was one to ignore signs of anything that would threaten her life as she knew it—especially when it had to do with my Dad. That first time he touched me in a perverted way I became a victim, and my life changed forever. That was the day my adored Dad became my sexual pursuer, and everything became twisted, confusing, and tormenting in my young mind. The day I became a victim of incest, the molding and reshaping of my life’s subsequent course was set in motion.

From the very first act of incest, my emotional development came to an abrupt stop. Everything I did from that point on was from a new perspective of who I was and of my own lack of value. Where was God through all of this? I learned to compartmentalize the Dixie who was her Dad’s mistress and the Dixie who longed for God to deliver her and take her away from it all.

When I was twelve, my Dad stopped molesting me, but only because he feared I would become pregnant. Though he ended his affair with me, my innocence was gone forever. I had missed my childhood, which had come to an abrupt halt the very first time he victimized me. I have only ugly, uncomfortable, fearful memories from the age of seven to adulthood. Even after my Dad stopped molesting me, the attachment he had to me was still there. I could discern it easily, so I was constantly afraid to be alone with him. I was no longer an innocent, adorable child. The day my Dad violated me was the day I became ugly. And from that moment on, I was on the outside looking in as life passed me by. A bomb had been dropped into my life that first day, the effects of it rippling out for years to come.

Climbing Out of the Box is a totally honest, deeply-felt memoir written by a courageous woman who has not only survived, but triumphed over, childhood sexual abuse, a dysfunctional family, loss of identity, rejection, self-denial, divorce, and spiritual abuse. Now a successful Certified Life Coach, author, and speaker, Dixie Diamanti has so much to teach us about childhood and adult struggles –physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual — and the often-precarious journey from unsatisfying religious practices to a true and enriching relationship with Jesus. You will laugh, wince, cry, and be inspired as you walk with Dixie on her path from darkness to light, from captive to free and fulfilled child of God. A compelling story all spiritual seekers should read!

You can purchase her book at Barnes and Noble.

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Climbing Out of the Box – Excerpt
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