Top 3 First-Date Tips following your Divorce

By on September 24, 2019
First-Date

When your marriage fails after having spent decades together, you can’t help but feel absolutely broken and completely alone. Despite the fact that some days you were really happy together, and other days you had to work hard on it, you never thought death wouldn’t do you part. However, life can always take unexpected turns, and the most important thing is to find a way to keep your head above water. Once you find yourself good and ready to go back to dating, you’ll need to prepare for it thoroughly because the dating game has changed so much over the past years, and so have you. That’s why we’d like to offer our top 3 first-date tips that ensure dates for seniors go much better than expected.

Keep it Casual

It’s important not to take dating too seriously after your divorce because you really need some time for self-development and exploration to get back on your feet. If it turns out that you’ve met someone who’s making you nervous for all the right reasons, that’s great, but if that’s not the case treat dating as a casual brunch with good friends. Your first date following your divorce should be friendly and relaxing, and it should be a way for you to get out of your shell. That’s why when choosing the kind of date to go on, opt for a late lunch on a quiet Saturday afternoon at a café nearby. Meet with the person and see how you like being out with a man again, but don’t beat yourself up over it. Take it slow and give yourself enough time to adjust to the change.

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Don’t be Surprise by your Feelings

Your feelings will bubble up whether you want them to or not, and you shouldn’t be surprised by that. What you should do is make room for them in your life whether they’re feelings of guilt, nervousness, or excitement. Your first date after the divorce will stir up certain emotions for sure, and that is perfectly OK. Allow yourself to feel things, give yourself a break, and remember that your date will probably be better than you think. Don’t be too hard on yourself, be compassionate, and trust the process. It’s perfectly normal to have needs, and there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t be happy. Trust yourself and your intuition, and be honest with the person you’re out with. Touch on your past without going into too much detail on the first date, and tell him about your interests and your kids, and keep the conversation as light as possible.

Know Your Priorities

Your first date serves to test out the waters and see what’s out there. Just because you go out with someone once doesn’t mean you have any obligations towards that person. Testing out the waters means assessing whether your date matches your top priorities or not. The first thing you need to do is figure out what those priorities are, and what is it exactly that you’re looking for in another person. What are the deal breakers? What kinds of values does your date need to have? How about a lifestyle?

Don’t be surprised if you find yourself longing for something completely different compared to your marriage. Being married for a long time means going steady with someone without any spontaneity, making partnership-like plans, and executing them to the best of your ability. Don’t be surprised if the person sitting across the table from you lives much more freely and you’re incredibly attracted to that very freedom.

 

 

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Top 3 First-Date Tips following your Divorce