One of the hardest battles for longtime couples to overcome is staleness or lack of romance in their comfortable, complacent relationships. For some, the stale romance might not be as severe, for others, it could be that love is hardly ever shown. Regardless of the stage or duration of the relationship, it’s never too late to re-spark the fiery passion you once had with your partner. Reconnect and reinvigorate through these three tips.
Know Your Partner’s Love Languages
In the book “The 5 Love Languages,” author Gary Chapman explains that people want to receive affection from their partner through one of the five love languages: gifts, words of affirmation, quality of time, acts of service and physical touch. It’s extremely important to know your partner’s love language and to continually check to see how your love language has changed over time. The most common love language among men is physical touch. A man’s need for physical touch comes from biological factors, specifically from the presence of testosterone in their bodies. It’s equally important for the female counterpart to express and communicate her own love language, reminding him through subtle hints or the occasional explicit request. Adventurously satisfy what your partner has been craving — and don’t forget to express what you need as well.
Continue to Plan for the Future
The way that we are wired for happiness is to look ahead at what the future holds. When’s the last time you and your partner made a goal with each other? Goals are as simple as traveling somewhere together, learning something new together, doing something together — anything that requires a diligent effort by both. Happiness comes from achievement, not by merit or skill, but the act of accomplishing something together. Take turns in talking about what goals are important now and carry uplifting discussions on how to achieve those goals together.
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Put in the Effort
One of the most important things missing in a stable relationship is effort. In a broad sense, the effort can be simplified in showing appreciation for the other person — let them know how much you love and care for them. This appreciation dwindles as the years go by as we suffer from stresses of life, such as children, job demands, financial strain, etc. Invigorate the relationship by first taking baby steps, then larger strides in showing appreciation. Don’t be afraid to remind your partner what makes you happy, like what your favorite flowers are and where to get them; and be sure to do nice things for him, like packing his lunch, preparing a romantic dinner, or surprising him with a fun activity.
If your relationship needs a reboot, sometimes the best way to get it back into shape is to simply do the things that you used to do in the beginning. Those things will bring back memories of why the other cherishes the relationship. Of course, you can really shake things up by doing something completely new. Show your partner that you’re ready for the next challenge, and playfully encourage them to rise up to the challenge as well.
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Kevin Lee is the founder of DOERS.coffee and advocate of all things startup and small business. Being a huge techie, he’s usually writing about the latest trends in tech and their influences in growing business.