It’s Never Too Late to Become What You Might Have Been

By on August 8, 2013
group of graduating students

By Linda Hoenigsberg –

It was May of 2001. I would celebrate my fiftieth birthday in two short months. A full year had gone by since I had fallen down the stairs, broken my neck, and had accidentally gotten addicted to pain medication. I had spent much of that year at home in bed and I felt isolated from friends and from participating in my life with my church family. One night I tossed and turned due to pain and depressive thoughts. I finally fell into a fitful sleep…and dreamt.

There were the three of us, seated alone in the stands overlooking a huge Olympic-like running track.  My mother was seated next to me on my left, and a close friend of mine on my right. Below us, walking along the dirt lanes of the track as if in a parade of some sort, were thousands of people in Biblical dress. I knew that they were portraying the history of man, from the beginning to the end of time. The “end of time” was going to be portrayed way off to my right, farther than our eyes could see. I felt comforted by my mom’s presence. In the back of my mind, I remembered that she had died of cancer at 56-years-old in 1986.

“Were you in the processional last year?” my friend asked.

“No, last year I broke my neck,” I answered.

“I was in it last year,” she responded. I already knew this, because when I picked up the flat crystal pendant attached to the gold chain around my neck, the circle of glass, the size of a fifty-cent piece, afforded me a glimpse into last year’s parade. I picked it up and watched it again, and there she was, walking the track, just as she had said.

I glanced over to her to say something and noticed she had a bouquet of “Lily of the Valley” in her hands.

“Can I smell your bouquet?” I asked.

“Sure.” She handed me the bouquet and I buried my nose in the tiny fragrant white blossoms, inhaling deeply.

“Ah, that smells intoxicating,” I said as I handed the flowers back to her.

My eyes flew open and I realized I was flat on my back and staring at the ceiling. What a dream! It seemed significant, but I had no idea what it could mean or if I had just eaten too much pizza the night before.

A few days later, thoughts about the dream returned as I was worked around the house…

Last year you could not participate (in life) because you broke your neck.  This year you cannot participate (in life) because you are still recovering. But in a year, things are going to change.

I thought about the comforting presence of my mother in the dream and the bouquet of flowers. I remembered the lyrics of a hymn by William Charles Fry written for the Salvation Army long ago, “He is the Lily of the Valley, the Bright and Morning Star.” I thought about how the Lily of the Valley bouquet in the dream could be telling me to inhale the fragrance of Christ, and how that could sustain me in this time of healing. I wondered if I was losing my mind in thinking the dream meant anything at all.

A year is a long time to wait for something to change, and as weeks crept into months, I really stopped expecting anything to change much at all. Then came the following May, with summertime just around the corner. Lily of the Valley grows rampant next to my backyard fence, so as usual, I picked one or two tiny white flowers and crushed them between my thumb and forefinger, bringing them to my nose and inhaling deeply before I dropped the petals back into the flowerbed. Heaven’s perfume.

Later that day, a friend of mine, a therapist, stopped by for a visit. She had a surprising agenda.

“Linda, I want to ask you something. I believe that you have a real gift for counseling others and if you would go to college and get your degree, I would love to take you into my practice.”

“That would take me ten years!” I answered.

“No it wouldn’t, and even if it did, so what?” was her retort.

As if on cue, the dream of the procession of the history of man was pulled out of some file cabinet in my brain and placed into a Blu Ray player. As I remembered my thoughts from the year before my heart skipped a beat. What she was suggesting had actually been a secret dream of mine. I had wanted to go back to school, and eventually become a psychotherapist, since I was in my twenties. But life had always seemed to get in the way.

Later on, I relayed my friend’s suggestion to my husband.

“You should go for it,” he said. Together, we started planning.

Four years later, at almost 55-years-old, I graduated Maxima cum Laude with a B.A. in Psychology from one of the top ten best four-year colleges in the western United States (according to US News and World Report).  I proudly  “walked” on graduation day and threw my mortarboard in the air with the rest of the young graduates. I had had my “do-over,” and now I was on my way to grad school.  Against all odds and a serious medical emergency, I went on to obtain my masters in mental health counseling and fulfilled my dream of becoming a psychotherapist. A favorite quote of mine is, “It’s never too late to become what you might have been.”

“But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere.” (II Corinthians 2:14)

Linda Lochridge Hoenigsberg

About Linda Lochridge Hoenigsberg

Linda Lochridge Hoenigsberg is a writer, speaker, and psychotherapist in private practice. She lives with her husband Tom and their Goldendoodle Emma in the beauty of the Rocky Mountains in Montana. They are the proud grandparents of ten and great-grandparents of two. Linda blogs at www.lindahoenigsberg.com and www.lindalochridge.com.

4 Comments

  1. Donna

    August 11, 2013 at 10:51 am

    Very encouraging article. It spoke volumes to me. With God it is never too late. I had forgotten that. We all have a future regardless to our current circumstances.I look forward to my future. It is bright and promising!

  2. Susan Stilwell

    August 11, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    Wow, Linda – what an amazing testimony! Yes, God opens some amazing doors for us, no matter what age! Blessings to you as you share hope and healing with others.
    Susan in VA

    • Linda Lochridge Hoenigsberg

      October 3, 2013 at 5:50 am

      Donna, I used to believe life was over at 40, knowing that my husband was on his way out of the marriage. Boy was I mistaken! I look forward to growing as a person and fulfilling my purpose until the day I take my last breath. Your future is bright and promising!

    • Linda Lochridge Hoenigsberg

      October 3, 2013 at 5:51 am

      Susan, thank you so much for your comments. And blessings to you, too!! ;o)

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It’s Never Too Late to Become What You Might Have Been