3 Simple Ways to Reconnect with Your Spouse

By Judith R. Barnes −

Between hobbies, friends, and obligations at work or home, carving out quality time with your significant other can easily fall by the wayside. Even those couples whose children have already flown the coop often experience an absence of connection with their partners, despite having the freedom to once again fully focus on their relationship.

In fact, according to an article on the potential loneliness of the empty nest, many empty-nesters find that during the years of raising children and building careers they have become different people than they were when they first met or married. In turn, this creates an awkward relationship that is difficult to reignite once the children leave. Regardless of what stage of life you and your spouse are in, keeping the spark alive in your marriage is important, not only to the health of your relationship, but to your individual happiness as well. Here are three simple ways you can invigorate the bond with your significant other and create a stronger marriage than ever before.

Plan a Date Night

Perhaps your schedule has been overrun with daily duties or your recent empty-nester status has left you and your spouse feeling a bit like strangers. No matter the reason, planning a date night can help you reconnect. According to a piece on planning date nights, new research from the University of Virginia has found that couples who spend a good chunk of time alone together once a week say they’re more committed to their relationship, and are three times more likely to report being “very happy.” Setting aside quality time for just the two of you forces you to focus on the emotional aspect of your relationship, allowing you to rediscover who your spouse is as an individual and, most importantly, as your life partner. Whether you stay in and watch movies or decide to hit the town for a romantic dinner, make sure you are both truly present on your date—as though it were your first.

Explore a New Hobby

Having individual hobbies is a crucial part of a healthy relationship, but not every interest needs to be a solo endeavor. Brainstorm with your spouse to come up with a list of activities you both would enjoy doing together. Sign up for a gourmet cooking course or give that salsa class you two have always said you would try a whirl. When you get bored with one hobby, move on to the next exciting possibility. In the end, it’s not about how you’re spending your time, but that you’re spending it together. Sharing something that’s new to both of you deepens the bond you already have and creates new memories that are specific to you as a couple.

Heat Things Up in the Bedroom

There are a lot of misconceptions about sex past a certain age: it’s infrequent, abbreviated, and in general, a lackluster experience. But, the truth is, sex in your older years can be just as good as, if not better than, it was when you were younger. Not only do we now know what we like in the bedroom, we aren’t afraid to express our desires, preferences, and needs to our partners, which can lead to a more enjoyable experience. It goes without saying that when it comes to reconnecting with your spouse, sex is one of the best ways to do so. Though it may seem counterintuitive, an exciting love life often starts with what you do outside of the bedroom. Just like with dating, flirting is something you should do throughout your relationship, rather than just in the beginning. To spark your sex life, try the modern form of flirting: sexting. Sexting allows you to virtually flirt with your significant other throughout the day. This only builds anticipation for intimacy later while keeping you connected even when you can’t be with each other in person. According to this infographic on the practice, 56 percent of those who sext say it has improved their relationship with their partner. Sending sexual thoughts or ideas to your spouse via text is an alternative way to renew or maintain the passion you have until you can express it physically. It also provides an ongoing list of possibilities for bedroom fun.

Judith resides in Texas and writes as hobby. She also enjoys knitting and baking as well as spending time with her children and family.