This Valentine’s Gift “Getting”

By on February 14, 2012

By Rosalinda Randall –

Ah, Valentine’s Day; a day of high expectations, especially from women.

Can the emotion that Valentine’s Day seems to evoke, be re-created at other times during the year? Why is there so much pressure placed on boyfriends and husbands on this day? Why should they have to provide their wife or girlfriend with the perfect, often pricey gift and/or an elaborately planned dinner for fear of unpleasant consequences? Not that I don’t think we shouldn’t do something special for Valentine’s, but as women we often set our men up for failure.

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It is in poor taste and a poor etiquette when you place demands on how, when, and where your gift is to be purchased and presented to you. Expressing appreciation for a gift and the thought that went into it is polite. Making someone feel that the gift or gesture is not adequate is hurtful and damaging to your relationship and can make you appear insensitive. Sending little hints in a playful manner may be appreciated by him; but do not expect it to be delivered to your exact specifications. Insisting will discourage him from ever thinking on his own; he’ll be too afraid to disappoint you, so why bother. You both lose.

Perhaps Valentine’s Day might be more enjoyable if you celebrated it a day or two before. Valentine’s Day is whenever either of you are feeling extra lovey-dovey. Be it on a Tuesday in March or a Saturday in June. Don’t get me wrong, I like tradition, but I don’t like traditions dictating my life.

Valentine’s Day in our home: When our sons were young, I would make a special dessert, and my husband and I might splurge on a better bottle of wine to accompany our family dinner. And now that our sons no longer live at home, my husband and I still buy each other a card and enjoy a better bottle of wine.

One year, we happened to be out and about when we realized we hadn’t had dinner; it was about 11 PM when we popped into Nick’s restaurant in Pacifica, CA. 11 PM, certainly the Valentine’s Day dinner crowd would be long gone…it was packed and they were not accepting any more diners that evening. Not to discourage you from going forward with your well-made plans but, going out to dinner knowing that you will be rushed through to make room for the next in-love couple, does not sound very romantic.

Instead, create your own secret Valentine’s Day tradition. Listed are a few thoughts to get you started:

♥ Go out to dinner a night or two before or after Valentine’s Day.

♥ Take a cooking class together, or a dance lesson…very romantic

♥ If weather permits, plan a picnic style meal where you have a view of the city or bay.

♥ Cook at home; splurge on ingredients and your favorite beverage.

♥ Clear the living room furniture, light candles, and put on romantic/sexy music.

♥ Ladies; tempt him with a fashion show. Yes, even if: too fat, too old, too thin…they love you.

♥ Exchange cards, put on a fun movie, and…

What Valentine’s Day traditions do you have?  What new Valentine’s Day traditions are you planning?


Rosalinda Randall is an Etiquette Consultant and Owner of Your Relationship Edge. Available for speaking engagements, workshops, and private consultations. 

About Rosalinda Randall

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This Valentine’s Gift “Getting”