Threads in My Tapestry

All sunny skies would be too bright,
All morning hours mean too much light,
All laughing days too gay a strain;
There must be clouds, and night, and rain,
And shut-in days, to make us see
The beauty of life’s tapestry.

Today I’m pausing to remember my best friend who would’ve turned fifty-four today … not only was he my soul-mate, but I had the privilege of hanging with him for twenty-eight years-five before we walked down the aisle and twenty-three as husband and wife.

When the unimaginable happened in November of 2004, I felt as if the cold that chilled my broken heart had also frozen time such as I knew it. And it had in many ways. Ed’s sudden death turned the noontime of my life to midnight. Like the flicking of a switch, all was dark. I loved my “mom” hat … and I cherished my “daughter” hat … and I always laughed when I wore my “sister” hat, but without my consent, my “wife” hat suddenly morphed into a “widow” hat and I didn’t like it one bit. No sir.

Questions. Oh, were there questions. (And still are, if I’m to be perfectly honest.) But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that when the sun sets, it always rises again. God’s mercies are new every morning.

Life felt tangled and messy from my earthly perspective, but the Author of life had a plan and it was good. You see, He was weaving a beautiful tapestry and in order to make His perfect work complete, He needed threads dark and light and every shade in between.

Isn’t it like us to only want the sunshine-y days? The mornings filled with dappled sunlight, soothing breezes, and birdsong? We shun the dark, dreary, cold, lonely days but I’m here to tell you, good things happen in the dark places as well as when good times roll. Probably more so because that’s when God’s most profound work is done. He carefully selects His finest threads for these eternal works … threads that strengthen a broken heart and give hope to hopeless eyes.

We don’t get to see God’s finished work until we draw our last breath. We only catch glimpses of those seemingly tangled threads and sometimes we even attempt to extricate them, thinking we know best. Well, after wearing my uncomfortable “widow” hat for over seven years now, let me just encourage you that in all things, yield your heart to the One who wields the tapestry needle and rest in His ability to bring beauty out of ashes.

“For now we see through a glass, darkly, but then face to face:
now I know in part; but then shall I know
even as also I am known.” ~1 Cor.13:12

I’m so thankful that my Ed is woven into the tapestry of my life. How dull it would be without the lessons I’ve learned from him, in life and in death! The tapestry of my life is being created with stitches of love, painful as they may be at times. Remember who wields the needle when the inevitable “knots” come your way and rest in the knowledge that He is weaving a beautiful tapestry out of your threads just as He is out of mine. And Happy Birthday, Darling. I miss you.

Lynn

Originally posted on Cottage and Creek.