The Power of Loving Well

By Carol Doyel –

God has been moving powerfully in me lately, stirring my heart, tenderly revealing deep things to me – sadly some of the things that He has revealed in me are not so good. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about condemnation – but in His lovingkindness, he has drawn me to repentance for “missing the mark” related to relationships and love.

It has taken me 57 years of living to come to a place of humbly recognizing my inability to love well…as much as I have tried in my own strength, in my own way, I realize I have fallen desperately short of loving the way God desires me to. I don’t think, or expect to love as well as He does – but my hope is that as I draw closer to Him, I will learn to love…more like Him.

I believe the two greatest commandments, as referred to in Matthew 26:36-40, are not just for the benefit of the recipients of love, but maybe even more so for the restoration of the soul of the one who loves. God knew when he instructed us to love Him and others that we would be radically transformed in the process of learning to love.

Love never fails. (1 Cor. 13:8)

So if love never fails, what does it look like in our relationships here on earth? The Lord has been showing me that love is the bond that holds everything together – everything! If we love others; our husband, our children, our parents, our extended family members, our friends and even our enemies, we can overcome evil. The evil plots of the enemy to destroy marriages, tear down families, and to cause confusion and division in the Bride of Christ (there’s nothing worse than a confused bride!)

If the enemy can destroy relationships and isolate us, he can deceive us and convince us that we are not lovable. In our own bareness of soul, needing to be loved and not knowing love, we are destitute. We die a slow death, while under the powerful delusion and lies of the enemy. Sadly if we are not able to break this pattern, we will see it repeated in the lives of those closest to us – in particular our children and our children’s children. The only thing that can break it– is the power of God’s love.

We must stand up to the wiles of the enemy by standing on truth. To know truth we must know the truth giver – our triune God – God the Father, Jesus our savior and the Messiah and the Holy Spirit. As we pursue God with all of our heart and come to know Him intimately, we will fall in love with Him.

The second greatest commandment will come out of God’s love and our love for Him. As we come to know Him, we will come to know his nature and character- and in doing so, we will become more and more like Him. And since God is love, the primary character of God, as we take on his character – eventually His love will take root deep in our spirit.

The Lord has shown me that the Gospel is not complicated, I’m simply called to live a quiet life following Him, living in community with others and loving those that He has entrusted to me – my husband (if you have been married beyond the honeymoon stage you know this is not always easy to do, but as we do He blesses us for our obedience), my children – who are now all adults, my grandchildren, extended family members that I’m in relationship with (including my church family), and close friends and neighbors.

As I learn to live in community, living in harmony with others, asking God what His heart is for each person in my life – especially those closest to me, I sense the power and presence of God increasing in my life. As I have come to know God’s heart, I recognize how easily my own can veer off the path of love. The only way I know to stay on the path is to seek Him daily, by asking Him to show me his heart for others.

It takes a lot of courage to be vulnerable and to love others – to love in a way that requires nothing in return. Loving fully, loving completely, loving unconditionally – loving those who are unlovable, loving those who have hurt us, or as is often the case – who out of their brokenness do not know how to love us…and yet, we continue to expect them to and when they don’t we become offended, hurt, angry, and often retaliate by holding back our love, which in turn causes more pain, and the crazy cycle that keeps us in bondage.

Someone once said that we hold back love as though it’s a commodity that we can run out of by giving it away, imagine if we loved as though there was an unending supply – which ironically with God there is.

When we lack or lose the courage to love well, the misplaced courage is often directed to less worthy causes like work, or other worldly pursuits. And if we believe we are unlovable, it can send us off looking for love in all the wrong places, or sadly many people turn to drugs and/or alcohol to fill the void that only love can fill.

I’m sad that I missed the mark for many years, as I look back I can now see how selfish I have been…thankfully His grace is sufficient to overcome our weaknesses and sin. Love is the perfect bond of unity that holds everything together – with it we can overcome darkness, despair, depression, addiction, divorce, hopelessness…love never fails.

I plan to use the time I have remaining to learn to love well, which I know will not be easy and may require me to ask for forgiveness as well as to forgive others. Thankfully with Jesus as our redeemer, when we repent He is faithful to come along side of us to help redeem what has been lost. Redeeming time, resources, relationships, and even life.

When we learn to love well – there is no limit to what we can do. The power of loving well can set us free, set others free, and transform marriages, families, communities, the Church – and the World!

Carol Doyel is Founder and Editor-in-Chief of LivingBetter50.com and an ordained minister. She is a graduate of The Full Gospel Bible Institute and has a passion for women’s ministries, issues and lives. She and her husband of 28+ years have three grown kids and four grandchildren. They currently reside in Los Angeles, CA. Her desire is to inspire women to live better physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.