Stress As Trigger Your Body As Target- Excerpt

By Alice Burron –

Chapter Seven, Step 5: Managing “People Stressors”

People are one of the biggest causes of stress, and the most misunderstood. For this reason, we are devoting a lot of attention to this next chapter that surrounds people issues.  And, if you make a concerted effort to implement this strategy, you will notice a significant improvement in your stress levels. It’s worth your time. Trust us.

If people are, indeed, stressing you out, then let’s figure out what it is, exactly, about those people that is causing you stress. Is it the “Whipping Boy” Syndrome? Is it the “Transfer Effect”? And what, really is their body language saying to you? We’ll discuss body language later, but for now, let’s talk about some ways people carry their frustration and transfer it to you. And let’s also discuss how we can hand it right back.

“Whipping Boy” Syndrome:  Have you ever been chewed out for something you didn’t do? When this happens, we all experience stress. It doesn’t matter whether we have the chance to defend ourselves or not. Even if we have the chance to defend ourselves to someone who is determined to lay blame on us, it’s a cause of great stress. And if we don’t have the opportunity to defend ourselves, it’s also a cause of stress. We’ve all been in this type of situation. But – and here’s the important fact to remember – we can totally avoid getting stressed out about it.

If you think you are being used as somebody’s whipping boy, then apply the strategy mentioned earlier called “Stop, Look and Listen”. Start reducing your stress immediately by asking two simple questions: “Is there any conceivable way that I deserve what’s being laid off on me by this person?” And, “Is it worth trying to defend myself?”

Stress avoidance and stress management are attainable when we differentiate between changing some situation – when it is in our power to change it – and changing a person’s basic personality, which is not in our power to change.

Expert from “Stress As Trigger, Your Body As Target”, Chapter Eleven, Step Nine: Mastering the Worst Stress of All

Worshipping a God of Our Own Making

In polite North American society, most people who value a spiritual orientation attempt to be respectful of the spiritual perspectives of others. That is not to say that some ardently religious people do not try to win converts to their belief system; however, it is almost unheard of for even the most fervent believers to ridicule the spiritual tenets of people of other faiths.

People might disagree with a particular believe system. They might even think it lacking in substance. But in North America, people go to great lengths to remain respectful to other’s deities or value systems. We’re not going to do that in this chapter.

Ever Paid Obeisance to “Yabutwutif?”

“Yabutwutif” is not some metaphysical deity; Yabutwutif is not the “Higher Power” that has left a code of conduct for future generations. Yabutwutif is a serious stress-inducing condition we bring upon ourselves. Yabutwatif occurs whenever we begin to engage in predicting future events and the possibility of dire eventualities that could possibly happen. We might receive reassuring input from someone whose opinion we value, but too often we suffer a relapse and begin to ruminate about “Yah, but what if…” such-and-such happens.

If we’re human, we’ve experienced emotion-focused stress and we’ve imposed plenty of “Yah, but what ifs” on ourselves. In some cases, emotion-focused stress creates such acute anxiety that sufferers seek pharmaceutical relief through prescription medications.

The fear of what tomorrow or next week or month will bring can induce the Fight/Flight/Freeze condition in the opening chapters of this book. Stress overcomes us. Our nights are long and sleepless. Our days are anything but peaceful as our thoughts return again and again to what might happen tomorrow or some other time in the future.

Here’s the Most Difficult Step

It’s called “One day at a time,” and it’s often coupled with “Let go, and let God.”  In North America, it is best known and best summed up in the words of Jesus Christ. His words are immediately recognizable whether they are couched in archaic English, or in contemporary vernacular: “Take, therefore, no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.”

That was from the King James Version of the Bible, but we might recognize it more readily in these words: “Don’t worry about tomorrow. God has taken care of your to this point. God will take care of your tomorrows, too.”

Full of enthusiasm for all things that create an environment for healthy living, Alice Burron has been a leading expert in the health and fitness industry for over 20 years. Alice is the author of several books, the latest of which is Stress as Trigger, Body as Target. Her latest healthy living resource endeavor, www.SoapstoneFitness.com, is an online source of fitness gear for active women everywhere. Visit her on her blog at www.2BFIT.net, where you’ll find her latest interviews with national magazines, fitness gear reviews, and exercise and wellness expertise.