Knowing When And How To Spice Things Up

We’ve all been there; relationships, whether they’re 30-year marriages or six-month situationships, you can get stuck in a bit of a rut. Between the stress of children, work, and everyday issues, sometimes private and romantic time gets pushed to the back burner. While we all know deep down we must make time for our significant others if we want the relationship to continue healthily, sometimes life gets in the way. The good news is, sometimes all we need is to spice that physical connection to get things back to the place they used to be and where they need to be. 

This is not to say that sex is the most essential part of our romantic relationships. However, when we let that flame start dwindling or burn out altogether, all our other problems seem amplified. So, let’s consider when it’s time to refocus and make sure we’re putting that time in and how exactly to do it. 

Realize It’s Happening 

Sometimes, when life throws curveballs at us that require more attention than your usual ebbs and flows of daily stress, it’s hard to recognize the spiraling situation in your relationship. So, pay attention to cues from your partner and whether or not you feel the same connectedness, you typically do. If you’re not feeling that, take stock of what you can rearrange (no matter how complex) and set aside time for just the two of you. It’s true, sometimes you need to schedule date nights or even sex, but these are keys to healthy relationships. 

Try Something New 

Now, everyone has set boundaries, which is a normal part of being an individual with different likes and dislikes. You are one hundred percent allowed to honor your no-ways; but, be open to some things you might not be entirely against. Say your partner has referenced utilizing sex toys in the past, and you weren’t open to it. But maybe it’s something you’re willing to try now.  A quick internet search can give you many ideas to choose from that don’t cross any personal boundaries. 

Keep The Communication Open 

Sometimes relationships hit a wall, and you may feel like there’s no way to break through it, and you might need to end things. But, you’d be surprised at how far a little bit of communicating can take you as a couple. Many of us consider ourselves strong communicators when it comes to interacting at work or with our children. But, opening up to a romantic partner in many ways is a whole different ball game. Think about it – we are intimate with them in ways that we’re not with anyone else, so it makes sense that those feelings are more personal, layered, and challenging to talk about. Push through those feelings of awkwardness and spice things up by having meaningful conversations that need to be had. It will bring you closer no matter the outcome of the conversation. You’ll have gained the confidence of knowing you can have these types of interactions, however painful; hopefully not too painful in your case but always a point of growth. 

Recognize Reality 

Both you and your partner need to have realistic expectations for how your sex life will be from the get-go. Hopefully, you’ve already talked about this while entering the relationship, or it’s a long-term marriage; you’ve kept the lines of conversation open as you’ve both gone through changes like menopause or other issues. Sex can still be fun even if it doesn’t look the same as when you were in your twenties. And, in many cases, sex is infinitely more enjoyable than it was when you were younger because you know your body better, what you like and dislike, and so on. Make sure you two set realistic goals about what sexy, healthy bedroom life is, and you should be good to go!

Relationships are all about belonging to someone else and honoring them the best way you can. One way to show someone how much you honor and adore them is to put in the effort to keep the romantic aspect of your bond strong. Hopefully, this list gives you some food for thought, and you continue together on the same page. Stay spicy!