Good Bones of Wellbeing

Right now there are numerous articles about how to make the most of your time during a global crisis. There are lists of activities you can participate in online for your wellbeing. There are zoom meetings and virtual happy hours and pay what you want, plays, concerts, and benefits. There are many articles about doing more and more at this moment but for many of us what we need to do is take a deep breath and do the inner work first. Until we are comfortable in our own skin being busy will only mask what we are really feeling and not allow us to process everything that is happening in the world right now.

This inner work is not flashy. This work is not a blog post ready or Instagramable or even worse Tweetable. This does not work that can be easily done shouting from the rooftops. This is feeling comfortable with your inner self like wearing a seamless thong or a really comfy bra, something you do for yourself, not for others. You will spend your whole life with yourself so you should find ways to be your own best friend. This does not have to be a big production or super complicated. There are many simple ways to connect with your inner self.

You might choose to connect through creative projects. Art provides you an outlet for the emotions you are carrying both known and unknown to you. You might connect through journaling, meditation, or yoga to gain a better understanding of what is out of alignment in yourself. All these activities have been shown to lead to physical and mental wellbeing. You might connect to yourself by pausing when you are facing a hurdle like procrastination, breathing, and taking a moment to see what fears and uncertainties are coming up for you. Once again this is work you are doing on scrap paper, and work that no one else will ever see or know about unless you choose to share. So be honest with yourself about what you need to focus on and what pace you need to work at. 

Sometimes you will be able to process a lot at one time and sometimes you will have to break it down into micro-steps. For example, if you are going to journal some steps might include deciding if you want to write on paper or type your thoughts, finding a notebook to use or creating a file on your computer, setting a timer journal for 5 mins, etc. Each of these steps will feel more doable if it’s a to-do list you are keeping. If the self-reflection project seems too big consider what tiny step you can take next to move a tiny bit closer to your goal. Too often our society’s expectations around processing feelings and emotions are based on the idea that this process can be standardized. That everyone can process in the same way, with the same techniques, and if those techniques fail it is an issue with the individual. This is not true. Each and every person processes what they are feeling in their own ways. Honor yourself and your own emotions.

While right now is a good time for reflection and getting to know yourself better, it is important to listen to yourself throughout the process. No one else can tell you how you should be processing. No one else can tell you what you should be doing. No one knows you as well as you know yourself. What do you need to do for yourself and your wellbeing? In the end, the process of reflecting on your wellbeing is about you and no one else.

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