Getting to Know the Real Proverbs 31 Woman

By Dawn Yoder−

Excerpt adapted from Real Women Leading: With Proverbs 31 Values by Lisa Troyer and Dawn Yoder

The Proverbs 31 woman was not someone I wanted to read about when I was a girl. The way she was presented just made me mad. All that talk about sewing clothes, cooking breakfast early in the morning, and taking care of fields held no interest for me whatsoever. The focus was on being a homemaker and a good, submissive wife, while my most hated word at that time was submission. Rebellion, anyone? As a teenage girl in a fundamental church, I recall reading and hearing about her in a women’s meeting and wanting desperately to find a way to exit the building or mentally “check out.” I did not want to be someone’s pretty, little slave.

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Maybe my attitude came from being raised in a family business and having an achiever mentality. I was never interested in or very good at working behind the scenes. The idea of making a house run like clockwork and waiting on everyone hand and foot while my husband went out to change the world could not have been less appealing. I did not see any way that I could possibly be like the woman in Proverbs 31. Since I thought I did not want what God had in mind, I felt destined to be “less than” — less than this virtuous woman, less than what a woman should be, less than what God wanted me to be. I believed in the literal interpretation of the passage and missed its underlying message. Trying to emulate this seemingly unachievable model made me feel defeated, so I lacked the desire to try.

My mom has always said that my only domestic quality is that I live in a house. Before you judge her parenting too harshly, you must know that my mom is amazing, and she was and is 100 percent correct. Mom knows me well. She knows what makes my heart sing. She knows the areas I am gifted in, and her saying that released me from feeling I had to be the “domestic goddess” I am not cut out to be. I hate to cook, I am not a morning person, I know nothing about farming or fields, and the thought of sewing my own clothes is completely foreign (and terrifying) to me.

However, God has given me many gifts and talents. I take care of my family. I am a businesswoman. I love to work with people and help them develop to their fullest potential. I am active in my church and in ministry. Some people have even said they think of me as a Proverbs 31 woman! I used to laugh and think they must not know me very well, but then I decided maybe she deserved a second look. So, as a real, live, grownup girl, I looked to see if I had more in common with her than I had once thought. What I discovered is that we all have more in common with her than we might think. I simply had never realized what God intended for women.

The picture we see in Proverbs 31 is a woman who is honest, trustworthy, and generous. A good steward, she has fun and makes fun, is a good planner, and maintains a good attitude. She understands people, prepares for the future, shows restraint, and likes to put together a nice outfit. This chick is awesome and leaves the rest of us a lot to live up to. Looking at her this way, she is no longer someone I am afraid I could never be. She is now someone I want to be! The Proverbs 31 woman finds success everywhere she turns because she lives by God’s principles. Because she does the things that make life work, she finds favor and security in every area of her life.

God’s encouragement to us is this: He has given us all we need to be what He has called us to be, if we do it in and through Him.

©2014 New Hope Publishers – used with permission

Dawn Yoder is a CEO of a 500-plus employee company, a member of the John Maxwell leadership coaching team, a speaker with the Circle of Friends ministry, a songwriter and a frequent worship leader. She and her husband, Jeff, have four children. Learn more about Dawn at www.dawnyoder.com.

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Getting to Know the Real Proverbs 31 Woman
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