The Danger of the Three C’s

By Carol L. Doyel –

Months ago as I was praying the Lord showed me three things that I need to eliminate from my life, they all start with the letter “C” so I refer to them as the three C’s.

As I was talking to my sister-in-law recently, she shared she had been struggling and praying about one of the three c’s that very morning and encouraged me to write about it.

Here’s the list of the three C’s; behaviors the Lord warned me to stop doing:

• Competing
• Comparing
• Controlling

As I was working on another project this week, I came across an article titled, “5 Overlooked Cultural Sins Threatening the Church.” The title intrigued me and I found one of my three C’s, – “Competition” number one on the list of the 5 sins.

Below is an excerpt of the article from the section on competition:

“Competition is not a Kingdom value. In a Kingdom where all are equally valued, loved, and included, where all are priests (not a select few) and where self-sacrifice is the measure of one’s life, competition is a toxic and destructive force. The Kingdom ethic is diametrically opposed to competition.  How else can we understand ethical implorations such as ‘Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, consider others better than yourselves,’ (Philippians 2:3) and ‘Do to others as you would have them do to you,’ (Luke 6:31) if not as contradictory to the basic intent of competition? This is the offense of the gospel upon the world.”

Here’s what the Lord revealed to me about the three C’s:

Competing can be healthy in certain realms, such as sports and games, but it can be dangerous if we compete with others, rather than look to God and the Word as our measure for success in any given area of our life. If our thought life is filled with how to be better than, or more successful than someone else, perhaps a close friend or relative, we set ourselves up for failure and for falling into the next of the three C’s – Comparing.

When we compare our life, our work, our husband, our kids, our ministry, etc. to that of others, we tend to naturally think of the bad things in our own life and see everything good in the lives of others, and then want what they have. If your focus is on others instead of your own unique qualities and gifts, or how God sees you and what the Word says about you, you are missing the opportunity to be the best “You” – you can be!

If our eyes are on others, which they often are as women, comparing our self to the woman sitting in the pew next to us, or the speaker on the platform, or our neighbor, or the woman on the magazine cover, etc…then our eyes are not looking up, or heavenward. We need to look up, to see what the Lord has for us.

Comparing what we have to what someone else has can lead to “want,” or worse, envy – and according to James 3:16, “where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.” Competing and comparing can lead to evil thoughts, behaviors, and vain imaginations which will affect our relationship with others and our growth in the Lord.

The last of the three C’s, controlling, ultimately leads to burnout. When we try to control situations or bring about certain outcomes in our own strength, we usually end up with a big mess. We may think we know what’s best, but if we are not diligently seeking God we can end up way off the path God intended for us, which can cause a lot of pain and frustration. We need to trust God more and do less in the flesh – If we can learn to trust God more, we will discover His divine rest and peace rather than exhaustion from the burden and stress of controlling our world and everyone around us.

I want to encourage you to ask the Father to show you His plans and purposes for you; your work, your marriage, your kids, your ministry, your life. There is no one else like you, and no one else who can do what you do or what you are called to do – if you’re pursuing God’s will for your life.

So lets stop competing, comparing and controlling, and instead celebrate our differences and be thankful for what God has ordained for each of us, for the benefit of the whole body – of Christ.

Carol Doyel is Editor-in-Chief and Founder of LivingBetter50.com. She is a graduate of The Full Gospel Bible Institute and has a passion for women’s ministries, issues and lives. She and her husband of 26+ years have three grown kids and four grandchildren. They currently reside in southern CA. Her desire is to inspire women to live better physically, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.