How to Take Back Control of Your Life

By on January 28, 2014
taking back control of your life

By Linda H. Williams−

Are you the victim of something that has happened in your past? Perhaps control over your life was taken away when you were in a vulnerable position, or you gave that control away by making bad decisions, or by believing that you have to please everyone. Whatever the case, learn how to take back control of your life by making your own choices is essential to a happy, healthy life; it eliminates someone else controlling your destiny.

It means that you start taking care of yourself. How many times have you put yourself last on your list and then run out of steam before you get to you?  How much time have you spent believing that you have to please everyone? When you live your life by someone else’s expectations, you will never measure up. You will always feel inadequate.

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Are you in a relationship where you have given up this control and you don’t even realize it? All you know is that everyone around you seems to be happy, yet, you sit with a sense of emptiness, a longing for some meaning to your life. Have you given the power of your happiness over to someone that you love and believes loves you? Do you go out of your way to make sure this person is happy-often at the sake of your own happiness? That’s when you begin to feel powerless to the circumstances that are shaping your life. You can take back control of your life. You have the power to reclaim that which you have given away. No one took that power from you, you gave it away. So, just like you gave it away, you can take it back. You have to believe that you can create the life you want.

What do you need to do to take back control of your life?

  1. You must positively influence your own decisions. You have to consider if a choice you’re about to make is going to make you a better person or not. When you begin to think about the betterment of yourself, you begin to look at all aspects of your life. Is this a positive or negative influence in your life? Are you growing or do you feel stuck? When you start doing things that are good for you, it will ultimately lead to you feeling better about yourself and your life.
  2. You have to learn how to say “NO”! Do you have a hard time saying no when someone asks you to do something? Even when you don’t want to do it! Are you more concerned about hurting someone else’s feelings than you are about how you feel? You have to understand that it is impossible to please everyone. When you learn how to say no, you’ll find that you have more time to concentrate on self improvement and you’ll have less time for anxiety in trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.
  3. You have to stop making excuses for why something happened to you? Do you blame others for where you find yourself? You waste time making excuses when you should be using that energy to reclaim your life.  The quality of your life is dependent on the choices you make. When your life gets off track, take a look and see what your role in the situation was. Look at all three sides – your side, their side and the truth. It’s easy to say that it’s someone else’s fault because your life is what it is.       It’s much more courageous to be the owner of your life.

4.   You have to know your rights:

  • You have the right to ask for what you want and to say no to what you don’t want.
  • You have a right to make mistakes and to even change your mind.
  • You have a right to determine your own priorities.
  • You have a right not to give excuses for your behavior and not to feel responsible for someone else’s behavior.
  • You have a right to say no to requests or demands that you cannot meet or anything that violates your values.
  • You have a right to change and grow.

5. We have to better ourselves by:

  1. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses: If you fail to learn yourself, you will always be in a position of thinking you need help. It’s that mentality of always relying on someone else that robs you of your ability to control your life.
  2. Learning how to be flexible: Life is not always going to go like you thought it would and you have to accept that you don’t have ultimate control in all situations. What you do have control over is your attitude about the situation. Staying calm in a stressful situation is not easy, but it will yield better results in your life if you do.
  3. Looking forward and not back at where you were: When you constantly look at the past, you cannot focus on your future and your future is based on decisions you are making in the present. Looking toward the future is an important step in regaining control over your life. Look at where you’re going – not where you’ve been.

Taking back control of your life involves taking action on your behalf. It means taking meaningful strides in your life. It’s a process. You didn’t relinquish control in a day; it’s going to take some time to get it back. You have to keep making efforts larger and larger until you have transformed yourself into the self assured women you were created to be.

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About Linda Williams

Linda empowers women through her gifts as an insight & wisdom coach, facilitator, author and inspirational speaker. Her passion is to influence women in such a way as to inspire them into positive action, to get them from where they are to a place where they can love the life they live. Linda is the author of “Your Past Has Passed” and is a Premium Expert Writer to It’s All About and a Trusted Author to Self

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How to Take Back Control of Your Life