Do You Suffer from Perfect Woman Syndrome?

By on September 1, 2011

By Jill Demby Guest –

It goes like this. You see a hot pair of jeans. You’re excited. They’re just what you’ve been looking for.

You try them on. They’re a smidgen too tight. A voice says, ” If I lost 5 pounds, they’d be perfect.” You walk away. Depressed.

You’ve just discovered a delectable new recipe. It would be perfect for the dinner party you keep promising your friends. Then you remember. One of your friends has just gotten divorced. ” Everyone will be uncomfortable with one single woman at the table.” You let it go. Disappointed.

You got inspired to take up dance while watching “Dancing with the Stars.” Full of vim and vigor, you research local studios. Then you think, “I’ve never had much coordination. I’m getting ahead of myself. I need to get in better shape first.” You don’t sign up for the lessons. It leaves you sad.

Do you feel like you always have to be the perfect woman?

As young girls, many of us got the perfection message. Look perfect, always be polite, watch out for the other person, don’t step on toes, don’t ruffle feathers, fit in. Wait until everything’s in place before you go ahead with it. We were controlled by the wrath of perfection.

But this is what happens over time.

Being a perfectionist dampens your ardor. It drains your passion. It weakens your life force. It makes you anxious. You give into fear. You hold back. Worst of all, life passes you by.

Little by little you become a victim of self-sabotage.

Depressed. Disappointed. Sad. You tell yourself you can’t have the things you desire.

So what’s the antidote for the perfect woman syndrome? And how can you detach from the wrath of perfection?

Face up to it. Look perfectionism square in the eye. (You’ll be looking in the mirror.) Say “thank you,” but “No, thank you.” You do not serve me.

Do what you wanted to do in the first place.

Buy those hot jeans one size bigger. Show off those 5 extra pounds.
Celebrate the win!

Have that dinner party. Your friends have more compassion than you think.
Know that the only behavior you can control is your own. Make that scrumptious dish and share the love. It trumps everything else.

Put on your dancing shoes and dance with wild abandon. No one is looking. They’re too busy worrying about their own imperfections. And if you trip and fall, maybe you’ll be swept up into the arms of someone wonderful.

The point is: Take the chance.

Be that imperfectly perfect woman with all your heart and soul. Let your humanity shine. You’ll love yourself for it. And so will everyone else. Take it from me, an active, recovering perfectionist.

Jill Demby Guest is an entertainment industry integrated media writer, producer, celebrity TV interviewer, audio book producer and digital content creator with expertise in strategic planning and marketing of niche market blogs. An anglophile, foodie, weight lifter, racquetball player and mother, she loves everything to do with mid-life reinventions and living a “feel good” life. http://www.thefeelgoodlife.com/.

About Jill Demby Guest

Jill Demby Guest is an entertainment industry integrated media writer, producer, celebrity TV interviewer, audio-book producer and digital content creator with expertise in strategic planning and marketing of niche market blogs. An anglophile, foodie, weight lifter and racquetball player, she loves everything to do with mid-life reinventions and living a "feel good" life. For more about weight lifting and loving your body, find her at http://thefeelgoodlife.com/weightlifting.

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Do You Suffer from Perfect Woman Syndrome?