The Only Pure Joy

By Patty Mason –

At eighteen, I saw the world from a twisted perspective. I was headed in a new direction, and all too happy to change course. I was done with my abusive childhood and turbulent teen years. In those days I had a plan and some idea of how I thought my life would turn out. I craved an exciting career that would make me feel accomplished. Along with success, I desired to travel and see the world. I didn’t want to grow old gracefully.

I wanted to sky-dive, climb mountains, and take every form of transportation known to man. I wanted to be the type of woman who rode a motorcycle at the age of fifty, and had lots of adventure stories to tell her grandchildren.

This, of course, leads me to the most important aspiration of all—family. I wanted to find a husband, a man who would make me feel whole, as if somehow half of me was missing. Of course, I wanted children too. In my mind, I felt giving birth to children would be my ultimate and greatest achievement. When in reality it gave me stretch-marks and sleepless nights. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children dearly, but I put a tremendous burden on them the day I thought they would complete me as a person.

Plans, dreams, goals and having a vision for life are a good thing—even vital. The problem started, however, when I allowed those ambitions to define me. I thought I was going to be a better person, more successful and complete because I would have certain things, successes, and people in my life. Instead, I set myself up for a shattering blow of disappointment.

By the time I turned thirty-five, I had everything this world deems valid. I had a husband who loved me, three beautiful healthy children, a nice home, and a successful career. Outwardly I looked like I had it all, but inwardly I was discontent and unhappy. Part of the problem was I had planned for a level of expectancy that never happened. Even though I had everything I longed for and set out to achieve from the age of eighteen, once I received it, it didn’t measure up—it couldn’t. For seventeen years I tried to lay hold of every hope, dream and expectation this world offered only to come up empty.

I remember the day my disillusioned expectations turned to depression. I was standing on stage in Dallas, Texas, before an audience of thousands, being recognized for one of the highest levels of achievement in the company. As I stood on that stage, I thought to myself: Is this all there is? I was at the peak of success when I hit a wall and experienced a sense of loss that left me spiraling helplessly down a deep, dark tunnel.

For what seemed like an eternity, my soul drowned in anguish—utterly disheartened by a world full of empty promises. By this time, I had exhausted all other efforts to get better, hopelessness had set in and I became suicidal. I didn’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, so God was a last resort. It wasn’t until I was unable to go on that I turned to God, “I have nowhere else to go but you. You have to do something. No one can help me; only you can help me! Please, help me.”  Then, without warning, later that same day, God reached into my well and delivered me from depression. And when I came out of that well, I came out a different person.

For most of my life I searched for happiness, yet I didn’t understand what it meant to have joy. Now that I am over fifty, on the other side of depression, and enjoying an intimate relationship with Jesus, I am convinced that most of the anguish I suffered in life was not because of what happened to me, but how I reacted to it. I wasted too much time worrying about what I had, what I didn’t have. These attitudes only left me dissatisfied and unhappy. I bought into false expectations and mentalities. I expected other people and things to fill the void in my soul. I lost hope because what I put my confidence in was nothing but an illusion. No more! I no longer want to put my life in the hands of empty promises. I want joy—pure joy!

Over the years, I have learned a great deal and overcome much. This is not to say I have it all figured out, but what my experiences have shown me is: The only pure joy is in Jesus. I can search the world looking for satisfaction and happiness, but every time I put my hope and expectations in anything other than Jesus, I come away disappointed. My greatest joy doesn’t come when everything in life is perfect. My greatest joy comes when I am focused on Jesus and His personal love for me. When I take my eyes off myself and make Jesus the center of my life, those are the days I walk with the awareness that no matter what happens in life, He is my constant source of joy.

Patty Mason is a wife and mother who found hope and healing when Jesus reached into her well of depression and set her free. From her painful past God created Liberty in Christ Ministries, a ministry dedicated to helping others find hope, healing, and freedom for their souls. As a speaker and Bible teacher, Patty has reached audiences all over the world through Sisters on Assignment, Christian TV, Sermon.net, Salem Communication’s Light Source, and WLGT Blog Radio Live. Most recently, her story was featured on CBN, 700 Club. Her books include, Transformed by Desire: A Journey of Awakening to Life and Love, and Finally Free: Breaking the Bonds of Depression Without Drugs. Website link is: http://libertyinchrist.net/default.aspx.