A Perfectionist? Read This For More R & R

Our identity in Christ is to be loved and accepted despite how we are perform. Yes, that includes your parenting, your marriage, your business or ministry “success”. When we received Christ into our hearts we received every grace that he walked in. I have been crucified in Christ and it is no longer I that lives but Christ that lives in me. Galatians 2:20

One of the first places I see perfectionism sabotage my clients is in regard to their devotional times. We serve a living God that desires to walk with you in friendship, through your obstacles and through your failures. When you have a greater understanding of your identity, this revelation will empower you to excel in everything you touch. You will truly enter into a divine rest.

However, it takes time for our minds and our hearts to be renewed to this truth. (And for it to become an overflow that equips us to serve our friends,  families and grow our visions in a significant way). Here’s the bottom line. Whether you are in the marketplace or the ministry, your brand is an extension of WHO you are identity wise. In other words, if your identity is that “perfection and performance” ….be prepared for the driven life rather than the purposed life. Sure, there is always a pay out for spectaular performance but typically it’s a lonely existence. You also live in the “never arrive” zone. Which personally to me sucks.

However if your ready today to move out of this isolating mindset  into more peace and clarity in your personal life and business, here is the first daily strategy you will want to implement.

1. Commit yourself to spend time sharing your heart with him daily every morning and all your emotional and tangible needs despite how you perform. It was very life changing to me to implement this first strategy. If  I drank, if I smoked, if I had said the F word to my husband and wanted to beat my children so bad the neighbors would call social services, I would wait a day or two until I had performed better to sit with God and pray. By then I was ready to spontaneously combust from tension or I would go to the opposite extreme, I would show up in my devotional time and attempt to read my Bible, I would sob like a baby asking for forgiveness and groveling. It was terrible.

Literally, I would sense the Lords presence and hear him say in my heart, “Becky you are so hard on yourself,forgive yourself and move on”. “Your a nut, I love you, you are my favorite”. WAAAAHHHHH and that would make me sob longer. So, get used to getting up and spending time with the Lord regardless of whether you feel like you did a good job or not. Also get used to be laid out by his grace because it turns you inside out.

2. Next, memorize a scripture to help you  press through into his grace.  When I was in the feast or famine days, my scripture was..My beloved is mine and I am his, he feeds his flocks among my lilies. Song of Solomon. (I’m an animal lover what can I say, probably makes no sense to you but it was wildly nuturing to my heart:) Always speak the scripture when you become aware that you are striving and feel like your trying your best to perform for God.

3. Watch for these thought processes as they are at the root a driving perfectionistic spirit. 

1.   I should be liked by everyone.

2.   I should be able to do a better job here and everything perfectly, every time.

3.   I really do not have control over my own happiness. My happiness is dependent upon the actions of others and what they think of me, or upon circumstances.

4.  The experiences and adverse influences that have occurred in my past cannot be changed, and are therefore ever a part of me, my present, and my future.

5.   There is only one true and perfect solution for every problem; therefore, until I find it, I am screwed.

6.  I should be able to hit all my goals because I am in control and everything is resting on me.

7.  I am totally responsible for the reactions and responses of other people toward me.

Most of these statements if you notice are ‘should on yourself statements”. Watch for depression and overwhelm in your life. If you begin to feel either of these creep in, then take a look at this list and see if any of it is what you are feeling. If so, you simply need to REPENT and ask God for trying to unsurp his Lordship in your life. Yield your heart to his ways.

Make sure to build relationally with people who understand and operate in a high degree of grace in their life. They are laid back, go with the flow people and all of us who have struggled with perfectionism think these people are really annoying. Their couches are full of dog hair like mine is now.

Be aware that excellence is a process that is built in you through yeilding to the Lordship of the Holy Spirit and just obeying him. It is not fixing yourself or trying harder. All we are required to do is obey God where we are at. Not comparing ourselves to others but doing the best we can with what talents and giftings we have been given.

Need more revelation on how to move out of perfectionism into a spirit of excellence? Check out my one hour coaching call on Perfectionism on my FREE RESOURCE page. (And let me send you the 12 Transformational Truths call when you sign up for my newsletter!)

Originally posted on Success Not Sabotage.