Know Thy Self and Know Others

By on April 9, 2011

By Wendy Crawford –

5 Keys to Effective Communication

One of the keys to success in any relationship or in business is effective communication. Behavioral research suggests that the most effective people are those who understand themselves and others so they can adapt to best meet the demands of their environment. Each of us has a specific wiring when it comes to our individual “Behavior Styles.” What are Behavior Styles?  Behavior Styles are observable behaviors, the HOW we do what we do, and how we respond to certain situations.

natural sunscreen with zinc oxide

So why is this important when it comes to communication?  Let me give you an analogy, it’s very similar to speaking a specific language. So for example: If I speak only French in my Behavior Style characteristics and you speak only Spanish, and in every meeting or conversation I speak to you only in my language, French – will we be having effective communication? Will we understand each other very well? No, not at all!  Many times that’s exactly what’s happening in our team meetings, business relationships, and even in our family relationships.

So, what do we do?  Now you’re seeing the importance of learning each other’s language or should I say “Behavior Styles,” so that you can start having more effective communication in your meetings, in your business relationships, and at home.  If I learn a little Spanish and you learn a little French, then we’ll both know how to adapt to each other and have better connections, communication and understanding.

Did you know that some Behavior Styles are really spontaneous, love flexibility, are fast paced and don’t like schedules — while others are the complete opposite? Did you know some Behavior Styles love to debate facts, to be challenged, and prefer make most of the decisions — while other styles don’t? Did you know that some Behavior Styles like to follow the rules — while others are risk takers and rule breakers? The question is — do you know thy self and know others?

5 Keys to Effective Communication

  1. Find out your language or “Behavior Styles” and learn others’ styles as well. This can be done through a quick online assessment and personal debrief so you can have more effective communication in all your relationships in business and at home.
  2. Speak their language. Once you know your Behavior Style and the Behavior Styles of others, practice adapting or speaking their language for better communication and understanding.
  3. Be a good listener and be fully engaged by eliminating any distractions or interruptions. A good place to start is by silencing your cell phone, watch, and any computer notifications.
  4. Facilitate well. Allow yourself enough time to cover the topics being discussed, the desired outcomes, and take good notes as to what are the next steps and who’s assigned to complete them.
  5. Be sure to summarize what you heard and ask for clarification. Don’t make the mistake of assuming you understand everything that was said. If you’re not sure – be sure to ask.

Wendy Crawford, CPBA, CPVA, Lifeforming Coach & Trainer, TTI Value Added Associate of Better Connections Coaching & Communications- Helping people with their whole life, so they can experience better connections in all their relationships. For more information on Wendy’s services, the Assessments, workshops, or for personal and team coaching, contact Wendy at: [email protected] or visit for more information.

About Wendy Crawford

Wendy Crawford’s mission is to help individuals, couples, parents, families, ministry teams, and businesses experience Better Connections in all their relationships. Her heart is to help others to be the best they can be, so they inturn impact future generations. As a Lifeforming Coach and a TTI Motivators and Behavior Analyst, she helps people to understand themselves and others better, to discover who they are and what they are created to do and be for God, and to create vision and balance in all areas of their life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Know Thy Self and Know Others