By Dr. Patricia Raymond –
“Call me Ishmael,” I said.
“Ishmael, stop your blubbering to the readers and haul that line over here,” bellowed Captain Ahab. “We’ve sighted that glorified albino sardine! We need to make ready the harpoon!”
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“Captain, I don’t think you have the men’s health at heart.”
“At heart? At heart? Yea muckraked mutineer! What do I serve yea swabs in the galley, morning noon and nighttime, too?”
“Fish,” I said with a slight shudder. “Always fish.”
“Well did yea know, yea sea-lawyer, that men who eat fish five or more times a week have a 40% lower risk of developing colon cancer? Aye! 40%! That’s lower than whale poopies! And when those lubbers on dry land invent that blasted Internet and we figger how to run a modem cable out here, you can see it for yourself at this link . Now, what do you say to that, yea scurvy smarty-pants?”
“Er, ‘Abandon ship’,” I yelped, a moment before 200 tons of furious whale blubber smashed through the ship’s side.
Gastroenterologist Patricia Raymond takes medicine seriously . . . and herself lightly. The founder of Your Health Choice and Rx For Sanity, known nationally as ‘The Divine Ms. Butt Meddler’ for her efforts to reduce the screening colonoscopy ‘ick’ factor, her speeches, articles, book, and broadcasts humorously help folks make the small choices that lead to big health. Websites: www.yourhealthchoice.com, www.buttmeddler.com, www.colonjoke.com, www.rxforsanity.com