Finding the Courage to Shift Your Scripts

By Sandra Walston – 

You cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself.
— Galileo

FIVE TIPS TO REDESIGN OLD SCRIPTS

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1.   Be willing to endure the anguish that comes with transitions. Psychologists suggest it takes three weeks to start breaking old habits such as when you’re stressed over a project you bite your nails. Becoming an observer of your stories requires concentration. Placing judgments on peers is easier than turning the spotlight in strict honesty on one’s self. Eventually, you no longer avoid your patterns — you “own” them and you claim how they affect others. The tragedy for most people is that intentions, such as New Year resolutions never measure up.

For example, you may work in an environment that bleeds your heart rather than feeds it (clock watching). Ask: Based on the original definition how do you say no to courage?

2.   Take action to implement this redesign. The script you learned a long time ago in your head becomes conditioned to a pattern that dictates your thinking and your behavior.

For example, you might discover that your mindsets reveal how you tend to blame. Driving your day to day actions (or inactions), such as the conversations you choose to have or not have become outdated and don’t work anymore. Your courage meter comes in to play when you determine how you hold yourself 100% accountable for your actions. Ask: How do I hold myself accountable for my missteps and how long does it take for me to step up?

3.   An act of “courageous will” is required to change, so pay attention. Make a decision to live your life by staying focused on when you’re happy. Analyzing yourself allows you to discover when you’re “being” (spirit) is in joy. Then, you can begin to sustain this feeling and enjoy being. Will you consent? If you are willing, transformation occurs as an organic process. It’s a simple process if the proper attention is applied. The GE Chairman & CEO’s 2004 Dartmouth commencement speech was not filled with “big” words or haughty comments. He said, “The challenge you must accept, right now, is to make yourself better every day. …Your curiosity and desire to learn things on your own terms is really a key to success. … You must have courage.” Ask yourself: If I had no limitations, what would I be doing?

4.   Find someone you trust to share in a dialogue. To change your cycle from mediocrity, struggle or suffering can be a difficult process. People share with me that at times they feel alone (not lonely) on their journey. Finding someone you can share your progress with keeps the new intent alive, serves as a means of accountability and supports you to raise your level of being present. One professional friend said, “Find someone you are willing to trust. Someone who doesn’t just back up your every comment or thought but someone to dialogue with who will challenge your thinking to keep you in the NOW and not in your old scripts.”

Are you becoming the person you were created to be or just limping along? A colleague called me on the telephone to share a transformation in motion. His schedule for the day had four back to back appointments with a one hour drive in between each appointment. At that moment, he recognized an old script playing in his mind. His ego was whimpering “poor me” complaints in the form of “This is too much and I am getting too old to do this type of heavy driving day.” He continued, “Sandra, you’ll appreciate that when I invited my ‘observer’ to be in the now, I shifted my perspective and changed my script. I immediately released the tension in my shoulders and gazed off the road to notice the wonders and beauty of the unique Napa Valley.” This is a simple example of becoming more intensely present to attract a new circumstance. He was no longer identified with his scripts. Ask: How does your joy show up at work (home)?

5.   Declare your courageous intention. Commit to a period of time to live life deliberately, such as 60-90 days. Ask: How willing am I to summons my courage?

 

Sandra Ford Walston, known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™, is a learning consultant, corporate trainer and courage coach. Sandra’s expertise allows her to focus on the tricks and traps of the human condition through recognizing and interpreting courage behaviors, courageous leadership and individual personality and leadership styles. As such, she is a sought-after speaker for companies and institutions seeking conscious change through personnel development. She can be reached at www.sandrawalston.com where she posts a courage blog and courage newsletter. 

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Finding the Courage to Shift Your Scripts
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