Don’t Take Love for Granted

By on May 31, 2018

When Laura once again found herself seated alone in the corner booth of her favorite coffee shop she could not hold back the tears. Seeing lovers exchanging gifts and pleasantries over coffee on Valentine’s Day was almost more than she could handle. It’s not that Laura wasn’t happy for the love birds, but February always came with the reminder that she was alone. Fond memories of the days when she and her husband would come to that very coffee bar are what drew her back again and again to their favorite booth.

She knew he wasn’t with her, but somehow settled in the chair where she would sit across from her husband gave her a sense of his presence in a sad, yet lovely, way.

Laura chastised herself over how many years she had continued this ritual of visiting their favorite booth on Valentine’s Day. She thought, Why do you do this to yourself? You know it’s just going to make you cry.

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Yet, somehow allowing the tears to fall seemed to relieve the sorrow she had carried with her every day since her husband’s passing so many years ago. Being alone isn’t what made her sad. She wasn’t lonely in the sense that she had her family. And her relationship with the Lord had never been more intimate. But the deep ache in her heart over losing the love of her life was something she would never get over––nor did she want to.

She had friends who were widows who assured it was time to move on, to look for someone new, sell the house they’d lived in, and a whole list of other advice Laura had no intention of following. She was fine but was fine good enough? She thought to herself “If only I could tell couples to cherish their time together. I wish someone would have told me how quickly it can all be gone. But who wants to listen to an old woman?”

Can you relate to Laura’s story? Maybe you have a close friend who is in her situation. The Bible calls us to take care of the widows. Yet, in the church windows are often overlooked by the less mature members of the congregation.

When people talk to senior adults like they are children it does not escape their notice. While they may graciously accept the patronizing manner in which they are treated, many secretly long to be valued for their well-seasoned wisdom and experience.

As a young wife, I remember how much I learned from an older woman who had lost her husband. Listening to her recount how she and her husband fell in love and built a life together inspired me to follow her example.

I was challenged to cherish time with my husband more when my older friend would say, “Never take for granted the days you have been given with your husband. One day he may be gone, and you don’t want to regret that you wasted the time God gave you together.”

God instructs the older godly women to teach the younger because the wisdom they’ve gained from their successes and failures in life provides a valuable perspective to a younger generation.

So, if you find yourself to be an older woman ask God to show you who He might have your mentor. And if you’re not-so-old, the next time you are tempted to overlook an older widow in your church realize she just might be the source of wisdom you’ve been looking for to help you build a life with no regrets. A friendship with you might be just what she needs to breathe new meaning into her life.

Rhonda Stoppe leads women of all ages to live lives of no regrets. She is the author of Moms Raising Sons to be Men and If My Husband Would Change, I’d Be Happy & Other Myths Wives Believe. Her latest books are Real-Life Romance and The Marriage Mentor  from Harvest House Publishers. Rhonda lives in California with her husband, Steve. They have four adult children and nine grandchildren.

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Don’t Take Love for Granted