The Value of a Compliment: Advice for Women

By on May 31, 2012
mature couple having dinner

“I can live 2 months on one compliment.”- Mark Twain.

Sounds pretty amazing, doesn’t it. Impractical and maybe even impossible but worth a closer look. Think about how you feel when someone you care about pays you a compliment. Maybe it’s your boss, saying you really did an awesome job on the last project, or maybe it’s your spouse telling you have much he or she appreciates the way you always try to keep the house in perfect order. Maybe it is a good friend who hasn’t seen you for a while and tells you how good you are looking these days and asks where you had your hair done. Think about how you feel hearing these kinds of statements. The answer is wonderful and your self-esteem rises. Now may it won’t last for 2 months but it certainly was a positive experience, I’m sure.

How many times have I heard that “my wife doesn’t appreciate me” or “my wife never says I do anything right”? Men are wide open for encouragement, praise and support. In fact, as most men are fixers, they thrive on knowing they have solved the problem, or made their wives happy by something they said or did. Yes it is a bit narcissistic, but aren’t we all.

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So a lady here’s a bit of good advice: compliment your spouse daily. Build up his self-esteem and he will undoubtedly build up yours. Here are some easy ways to accomplish this task:

  1. Find something to praise him for. The way he cleaned up the kitchen, or how he cut the grass.
  2. Make sure you are giving him more positive comments than negative ones each week.
  3. Listen if he presents a new idea and refrain from judgment. Tell him of the pros first before you jump on the cons.
  4. Tell him how much you appreciate him and give one example of why.
  5. Look for the little things he does to make family life easier and tell him you notice
  6. Focus on who he is and not only on what he does.
  7. Make a list of 6 things you appreciate about him and refer to it often. Keep it handy so you can remind yourself of these traits you identified.
  8. Be sincere and only praise or compliment what you believe in. Without sincerity, praise can be viewed as manipulative and annoying.

In the end, encouragement is one of the best gifts you can give your spouse. The results will be noticed in all areas of your relationship: more meaningful connections, increased intimacy and more fun together.

 

Originally posted on The Gift of a Lifetime.

Barbara J. Peters

About Barbara J. Peters

Barbara Peters, RN, LPC, is a gifted communicator with a laser beam ability to cut through the tangle of personal drama to get results and relationships that last a lifetime. A Long Island native, Barbara has made Georgia her home for the last twenty-four years; her private counseling practice is in Cumming, GA. She is devoted to her family of two grown daughters, four grandchildren, and a Shih Tzu named Gingerlily who often accompanies her to work. Her books are available at all major online booksellers and on her website, in soft cover and ebook editions. If you want more information on Barbara J. Peters visit her website http://www.barbarajpeters.com.

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The Value of a Compliment: Advice for Women