How to Be the Most Beautiful Woman in the Room

I watched her walk into the room. Heads turned. Within minutes, people gathered around her. Within hours, the most beautiful woman had mesmerized everyone in the room. My French girlfriend, Victoria, was not, by society’s standards, the most physically attractive woman. Her face was cute but quirky. She wasn’t the youngest. She was approaching her forty-third birthday. She wasn’t the skinniest. She was a size 8 with very feminine curves.

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it. -Confucius

Part 1 of a 3-Part Beauty Manifesto

However, she was the most beautiful woman in the room. What did Victoria possess that others didn’t? How was she able to captivate a roomful of people? How was she able to stand shoulder to shoulder with every person in the room? Victoria knows something that most women fail to realize, and if you’ve ever desired to feel like the most beautiful woman in the room, this 3 part beauty manifesto is for you.

Step #1: Start at the End

When Matisse sat down to paint, he saw the painting on a wall. When Hemingway grabbed his pen and paper, he had the ending of his stories in mind. When you walk into a room, you must know what you desire to experience.

Slim, Chic, and Savvy women understand that their life is their own creation. Waiting for others to make them feel beautiful is not how they roll. In fact, one of their beauty secrets is taking complete accountability for their own life and feeling state—how they dress, walk, eat, think, everything.

If you want to feel like the most beautiful woman in the room, start at the end. Go there in your mind and see what that looks like for you. What does your most beautiful self wear? How does she carry herself? How does she think? How does she interact with others? Before I step foot into any social situation, I create the ending in my mind. I plant that seed of intention, and then I allow the pieces to come together to create my own experience. Seeing the end is the first step to creating anything you want, including feeling like you are the most beautiful woman in the room.

Step #2: See the Room as Your Playground

Have you ever noticed the innocent beauty of children on a playground—their curiosity, excitement, and smiles? They seem to lack a great concern for what others think. They don’t fear screwing up. In fact, they seek out challenges and opportunities to learn and grow.

Life is fun, and children just want to play.

Unfortunately, many women walk into a room and see it more like a war zone than a playground—constant comparison, worrying about judgment, afraid of saying or wearing the wrong things. The energy of such thoughts and feelings strips a woman of her natural playfulness, and therefore, her beauty. When you walk into a room, see it as your social playground–become curious about others, seek out conversations that inspire you, and don’t forget to wear your best fashion accessory, a smile, and begin to have fun. As Audrey Hepburn said, “Happy girls are the prettiest girls.”

Step #3: Have a Love Affair with Life

A woman in love is a beautiful thing. A woman in love with life? Magnetic. When you fall in love with life, you fall in love with yourself. As a result, you don’t need the validation of others. You don’t need others to make you feel a certain way. And, you don’t need others to tell you you’re beautiful.

That alone makes you a rare bird in a society that is constantly seeking external kudos. And, rarity is often a beautiful thing—a freshness in a stale world.

(A little gift: if you’re like I was—my own worst enemy—you may not know where to start with this one. That’s okay. I’ve got your back. I’ve created this really cool worksheet to help you begin the love affair of your life.)

Step #4: Create your own definition of beauty

If you currently believe that being beautiful means being a six-foot, 130-pound blonde and you are a 5’4,” 140-pound brunette, you’re screwed. You’ve created a game that you cannot win. Not good. Slim, Chic, and Savvy women love to create games that can be won.

If you want to feel beautiful, you must redefine what beauty means for you. Make sure to create a definition that addresses all aspects of a woman’s beauty: physical, intellectual, spiritual, and mental.

In the Slim, Chic, and Savvy 10-Week Immersion Experience, members create their own personal definition of beauty. One client redefined beauty as: Beauty is taking great care of myself. Beauty is walking into a room and not caring about what others think but caring about them. Beauty is taking the time to look my best. Beauty is feeding my body with beautiful foods and my mind with beautiful thoughts. Beauty is celebrating life. By changing her definition of beauty, this woman began to feel beautiful. The result? She met an awesome guy and landed her dream job. That’s how to play the beauty game.

Step #5: Think and See Beauty

The Buddha said, “What you think, you become.” Are you thinking of beauty? Your thoughts and attention are creating your life. What are you creating right now? In any moment, you can focus on things that align with what you desire to create or you can allow your mind to run wild and let life just happen to you.

Regardless of how you look, if you show up in a room thinking ugly thoughts and focusing on all your perceived shortcomings, you will deny yourself of a beautiful experience.

You choose what believe and see. Look around. Beauty is everywhere. Look in the mirror. Beauty is staring back at you.

Tonya Leigh is the founder/owner of a lifestyle brand passionately dedicated to helping women French Kiss Life! Tonya is a certified Martha Beck Master Life Coach, a former career nurse, an internationally trained sommelier, self-professed Francophile, fun junkie, and freelance writer. She is currently working on her first book.

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