5 Months…but who’s counting…

By on April 5, 2012

Here we are, in the tropics of Alaska, also known as Barrow. When we were packing for this trip, I told Dave, “Honey, you need to take a jacket or sweater.” He barely glanced my direction. “Oh no. I’ll be fine; it’s not going to be that cold.” I looked askance. “Dave, it’s Alaska and not only Alaska, we’re going to Barrow, the northernmost point in Alaska.” Did he listen? Oh no. So, when we got off the plane in Barrow, the first thing we did was go shopping! Let me tell you something, shopping in Barrow, Alaska is swift and sweet because there’s only one store and if they don’t have it, you don’t need it.

So, he bought his black hooded zippered jacket and wore that baby constantly! It looked great on him too -smile-.

It’s five months today and, guess what? I’m okay. I’m actually doing okay; nothing great or fabulous but, mostly, I’m remembering to breath normally, I’m eating one decent meal a day and I’ve been on a mile walk because Sophie decided to go walkabout and I had to chase the dratted thing!

Grief is funny and strange. Sometimes I natter on because I’m so overwhelmed by grief that I need to pour it all out. I also need your comments; I cherish your comments and your prayers and know, beyond a shadow of doubt, that a lot of days, it’s your prayers that keep me going forward. Today, I’m talking about grief because, unfortunately, some of you will, eventually, need to know.

Grief is funny and strange. It’s a visitor that shows up at will; like an On/Off switch but I haven’t a clue where to find that switch. Grief comes, unbidden…trust me, totally unbidden…stays as long as it wants, does what it wants, is as terrible as it wants, extracts whatever price it wants, and then, suddenly, one morning it’s gone. Gone for how long, only God knows.

Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about; you’ve been there, before me, and you know you do the best you can, most of the time, and sometimes even that isn’t good enough. Still, one struggles and muddles through, knowing God is carrying the load, when we allow.

If you’re interested, you can do something to lighten someone’s load. Send a card, bake a casserole, take someone to lunch, offer to clean house, take their car to be washed, return books to the library, buy stamps or take their mail to the post office, take lunch and tea to their house and share a quiet hour or two. There are hundreds of ways to tell let show someone you care! Why should you? Because one day, dear heart, it’s going to be you waiting, waiting, waiting and if you’ve sown sparingly, you’ll reap sparingly and who wants or needs that? Sow with abandon, broadcast good works and deeds among everyone you know and yes, even that one person you don’t really care for but s/he needs someone to care. It could be you making the difference between them making a stupid mistake in their life. Some of you have sent cards, e-notes, e-cards and all have blessed me. Sometimes those cards have arrived at a time and made the difference between grief and despair; bless you mightily for doing not such a small thing!

Last week someone mentioned to me they were out of town when someone they know passed away. This woman asked me, “I haven’t called the family or sent a card and it’s been a month. Is it too late?” Bless her for asking! No, it’s not too late and if a phone call makes you uncomfortable…what shall I say, what if they start crying, what if, what if, what if…then, by all means, send a card. It’s safe and easy and, from personal experience, know your card will be kept in a special place and read, re-read over and over and over… Is there anyone who gets tired of knowing someone cared enough to send a card? Not me! I told someone, “If God can’t get me through this (grief), I won’t go!” But He will, He’s faithful and I choose to trust Him.

A few minutes ago, I looked at the statistics for this blog. More than 100,000 people have visited my Thistle Cove Farm blog and I am shocked; thank you so much! I started TCF blog in May 2005 and it’s chronicled our life on the farm and our travels. It’s been a great way to meet so many wonderful people both virtually and in person. Bless you; God bless us, everyone!

Blessings ~ TCF blog ~ travels ~ friends ~ faithfulness ~ a good few days ~

 

Originally posted on Thistle Cove Farm.

About Thistle Cove Farm

After more than four decades, Sandra Bennett's dream of living on a farm came true, and now lives her dream at Thistle Cove Farm. She writes, photographs, and plans her next travel adventure while teaching workshops in Increasing Small Business and Farm Income; Networking and Partnering and Fleece Management. She's taught at University and in Russia, Armenia, Georgia and at different fiber festivals in the eastern USA. Dave, her beloved husband, passed away in 2011 so now Sandra is learning financial management. Please visit Thistle Cove Farm , her lifestyle blog: http://thistlecovefarm.blogspot.com/, and Wife to Widow blog: http://www.1wifetowidow.blogspot.com/ where she helps you be “proactive, not reactive."

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5 Months…but who’s counting…