By Heidi McLaughlin –
Obviously I was invisible. My deep sighing and cupboard slamming could not disrupt my husband’s intense enchantment with Monday night football. Excuse me, can you not see that I am exhausted. I’ve been working all day? I just finished cooking supper for the whole family and now I’m left with this big kitchen mess. Do I need to call 911 to get some attention and help around here?
Finally I had enough, and with hands on my hips and clenched teeth I stomped over to the T.V., faced my husband and hissed the words, “Can you not see that I am tired and I need some help?” To this day I can still remember the stunned look on his face when he replied, “Honey, if you need some help all you have to do is ask.”
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That conversation was a critically defining moment in my life. I had always thought that your spouse and people close to you, if they loved you at all, would be sensitive and intuitive enough to know we need support and help. Not so.
So I have learned to ask. I have become brazenly confident to ask for anything and about everything. Two things that changed this approach to life:
- My husband’s response to me that night.
- God’s honest and powerful word to me in
Asking has given me extra weeks’ vacation days, speaking opportunities, book contracts, special times with my children, extra help at work and it has opened doors that I thought were not mine to open.
I had a friend ask me one day, “How come you get Fridays off?” my response was, “I asked.”
This powerful insight also taught me to never assume anything. Now I ask my assistant if she needs help, I ask if someone is not feeling well or if there is some way I can help. I also ask the hard questions. “Did I hurt your feelings? Does that make you resentful? Why would you say something like that? Did I hear you correctly? Was I out of line back there?
I truly believe if we want to move out of our comfort zone and become godly, influential women, we need to ask a lot of questions. Questions that will help us to understand life, people, the bible and ourselves. I do not believe that reading more books and filling ourselves with more information will not make us better people. We need to engage with other people with authenticity and desire to understand each other better. One of the best methods for me has been to ask.
Heidi McLaughlin lives in the beautiful vineyards of the Okanagan Valley in Kelowna, British Columbia. She is married to Pastor Jack and they have a wonderful, eclectic blended family of 5 children and 9 grandchildren. When she is not working, she loves to curl up with a great book; or golf and laugh with her husband, family and special friends. You can reach her at: www.heartconnection.ca.
1 thought on “A Powerful Three Lettered Word”
Really good article; it reminds me of a long ago Hollywood book called “They Can Kill You But They Can’t Eat You”…not sure why that comes to mind though. Regardless, one should be prepared for the possibility of losing “friends” should one ask the hard questions.