Real Relationships in a Technology World

By on August 1, 2014
Technology World

I was listening to a speaker talking about the fear she had of the technology world and social media creating a false sense of who we are and only gives an image of who and what we want to share. She called it the Goldilocks period. Not too much, not too little but just right. This was her describing how technology and social media are giving us the ability to control how much or how little we show and share so we can be just right.

It got me thinking as to how can we successfully create real relationships through technology and social media while not trying to hide who we really are. It also expresses a huge amount of fear and insecurity that we carry to show or share the real views we have along with who we really want to be.

This speaks to me in my views of being a believer and wanting to share that with others. Sometimes I catch myself with the concern of….oh what will others think if I post that? Then I remember who I am in Christ Jesus and that me trying to hide that will not achieve results nor will it truly let others know the real me thus create real relationships.

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My whole career has been revolved around networking, building relationships along connecting others through my different roles as an executive to having my own companies and building my women’s ministry.

Here are some helpful tips I feel would help to utilize technology and our social networks but be our selves to obtain real relationships.

1) Share things as if no one was going to give an opinion.

What I mean is don’t get wild and crazy with your emotions just state the facts and thoughts as you see it. Share your passions and beliefs not to offend others but to invite them into your personal sector.

2) Don’t try and hide the real you and edit based on how you think others want to view you.

Just be yourself or don’t do it. If you are going to be passive-aggressive what will that accomplish? It’s like married couples that say they never fight. Really…how boring I say. We can’t all be the same and therefore we all have different views and opinions. How we share them, respond and listen is key.

3) Be the same person online as you are in person.

If we are hiding, fixing, framing pictures just right then when meeting others in person they really won’t know who we are. Eventually, it all comes out in the wash anyway so to say. Keep it real and your relationships will grow naturally and they will be real.

4) Create face to face relationships not just through social media or texting.

Call instead of text, write a card instead of an instant message, set an appointment to meet in person. This will create an opportunity to connect and network in the traditional fashion which is face to face at an event.  Share conversations, stories about your life, family, and work.

5) Your iPhone doesn’t always need to be with you.

We have to learn to leave our iPhones or smartphones in the office when attending a meeting so you can actually listen to the whole meeting.  At the dinner table, we should not have our phones present. What are we saying to our children? Are we demonstrating healthy communication skills? What are they learning?  Study’s say that children today don’t even know how to introduce them selfs to others because they are texting instead.  How weird is that? Never saying hi to someone in person but yet you have a virtual relationship. We are creating a false foundation of what a real relationship is built on for our future generations. Real relationships are messy and complicated at times and we need to learn how to work through all that to get real.

Are “real” face to face relationships becoming obsolete or can we get back to the basics while still utilizing technology and social media?

While yes I am a social media monkey, I also love face to face time. That’s why I started a Christian women’s social networking organization that has actual face to face meetings. I think we need to compromise in our communication style along with checking yourself how much we are texting verses picking up the phone to call someone. In fact, when was the last time you did pick up the phone to call a friend instead of sending them a FB message or email.

We need to turn off our social networks and technology for part of the day, don’t make it your whole day. Leave your phone at home sometimes when going out to the store or hanging with friends. I know that sounds weird at first but after you get through the initial uncomfortable feeling of looking for your phone to check it you actually will get to have a real conversation face to face with the people you’re with. We don’t need to quit it completely but we do need to meld the traditional with the new. Having respect for the way it was first done to achieve a balance.

I love this scripture because it reminds me of how important it is to go out and meet one another face to face to learn who they really are. Some things can only be accomplished face to face.

Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the “tent of meeting.” Anyone inquiring of the Lord would go to the tent of meeting outside the camp. (Exodus 33:7 NIV)

Janet Uszynski – Writer~Speaker~Encourager

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Real Relationships in a Technology World