This Morning, I Met a Man Who Changed My Life…Forever

By Hala Teeny –

While driving to Seaside to get coffee, I saw a man in a wheelchair on the opposite side of HWY 101 waving wildly at each passing car. He was wearing a Santa hat and had an American flag strapped to the back of his chair. It was 35 degrees.

On my way back from the coffee shop, he was still there, so I decided to pull over and give him a hug. Joy was all over his face as I approached him. After exchanging hugs, I asked his name. He unzipped his hoodie, reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a crumpled, yellow USPS mail forwarding sticker– a sticker that I’ve grown to hate because it represents packing boxes, false starts, and do-overs. He held the sticker out and smiled big when I said his name aloud. Gary Lewis. With his hoodie unzipped I could see his military dog tag still around his neck and half his body paralyzed by what appeared to be a stroke.

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In an instant, I imagined how much this man has lost and suffered over the years. How much heartache was crammed into this hero’s life? I couldn’t help but wonder. But, there he was on a freezing cold Christmas morning, spreading joy and love from the side of the road (outside the nursing home, where he no doubt gets his mail with that awful forwarding sticker).

For days, I’ve been almost crippled by grief from this last year. Five deaths, the loss of my 23 year marriage (and all that comes with that– including that damn yellow sticker), and countless disappointments sprinkled in between. I’ve probably cried more tears the last couple months than I have collectively cried in my life. I cry as I wander through the grocery store trying to figure out how to cook for a family that doesn’t include a man. I weep in my office, in my car, in the shower. The tunnel of sadness has felt so vast at times…like I’m digging underground with no idea how far I’ve come, and no idea how much further I must go before light breaks through. But I keep digging in faith and hope, trusting that God will work all things together for my good and the good of my children.

This life guarantees sorrow. No matter how comfortable and happy you may be right now, the veil of bliss will one day be yanked away, and you will bury someone you love; you will say goodbye to one you thought you couldn’t live without; you will lose a job; face betrayal; or otherwise feel the bitter sting of sorrow. Guaranteed.

What’s not guaranteed is how you’ll respond. While grieving is appropriate, a stone-cold heart is not. Somehow seeing Gary this morning has inspired me to keep moving through the pain. To keep loving and hoping and believing.

I asked Gary if I could take our picture. Based on his response, I don’t think he’d ever experienced a selfie…he seemed astonished! I’m going to send this photo and write him a letter to tell him how he’s still a hero when I get home. In the meantime, my heart stands to its feet and screams “thank you” to my many other heroes who’ve held me up when I couldn’t see past my present pain. And, I thank God who sends me sunsets, and waves, and Gary’s when I need them most!

This was originally a Facebook post that Hala shared and we at LivingBetter50 decided it was just too good to pass up so we asked

 

Hala Teeny is an attorney and mother of four wonderful people aged 22, 21, 14, and 3. She lives in Portland, Oregon where she enjoys baking pastries, hiking, kayaking, long walks on the beach, and loving people!

 

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This Morning, I Met a Man Who Changed My Life…Forever
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